do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This is the high leading the old right now
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
