hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i dont even know how to be here
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
