I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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