Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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