I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
