Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
