That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
