? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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