Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
3pm strippers are depressing
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
