I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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