I wish I only lived at night.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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