this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
