Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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