I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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