She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
