After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
