Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
