dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
