uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
