U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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