when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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