She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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