I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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