Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
