what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
