I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i would punch a child for taco bell
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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