There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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