OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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