yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
