i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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