All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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