My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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