At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just blew my weed a kiss
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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