you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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