I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
