I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
