We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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