i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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