Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
