you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am midnight drunk by noon
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
