you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
