i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
