I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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