hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
