We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
