theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
and she was petting her beer can
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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