I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
