Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
