I heard we made out
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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