its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You need a sexual gate keeper
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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