I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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