I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
