so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
why do cheetos always look like penises
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
