Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize