i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize