What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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