The maid of honor just puked.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
