Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize