haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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